Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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