you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
