This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
