i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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