yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
