Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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