his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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