pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
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