i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
