it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
