I accidentally burped into my bong.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
