I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
