I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Randomize
