Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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