How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
you will always have a special place in my vag
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
