Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
