He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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