he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
