I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
