Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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