Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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