yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
