He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
We are two peas in an std pod
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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