Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
