it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
