Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
