so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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