you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
