i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
