the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
