so let's talk penis.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize