I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
