So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
