Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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