Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Randomize
