The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
