I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
