I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
