Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize
