Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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