Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
