ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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