I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
