Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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