yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
