Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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