We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
