halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
