He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
