Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
