She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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