I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
